सवाल

आज इक्षा हुई की एक कविता लिखूं। तो ये रही एक चोट्टी सी कोशिश

लब बंध गए हैं क्यूँ
वक्त थम सा गया है
चाहे जितने भी कर लूँ जतन
ये आंसू छलक जाते हैं क्यूँ

ये रात लगे इतनी घनघोर क्यूँ
हवा भी इतनी सहमी है
चांदनी भी ठंडक नही देती
जाने है ये अजीब हलचल क्यूँ

छाया है एक बादल मन मैं
है निराशा मैं या है सूनेपन मैं
ढूँढता है ये क्या बावरा
की चुभते हैं हमेशा कांटें पैरों मैं

व्यर्थ मैं है इतना सन्नाटा क्यूँ
खुशी का कोई न कोई बहाना है
ग़म की परछाई से निकलो
ऐसा फ़िर खुदको समझाता है क्यूँ

हर बार होती है यही कशमकश क्यूँ
हूँ मैं इतना नासमझ
या है सच मैं खालीपन प्रबल
ये उठता है हमेशा सवाल क्यूँ

Fly away with my rope

If a normal movie transformed into a real scenario, what would the extras be like. In terms of numbers, they are far more than the key characters. So, they are probably meant to portray the "Aam Janta". But then why are they so lame. The extras in the bad ass gang must have the lowest possible self esteem. The moment they see the hero, they start missing their gunshots. The hero or any of his/her family members and friends (even aunties and unkools) bash them up as if they were a bunch of misbehaving 8 yr olds who call to be spanked. Dude if they were so bad in beating up people, why the hell are they getting paid to be musculed goons (But then I too get paid for writing lousy code)

They look as if they are ready with the idea "Abe ye hero aa gaya, ab to hawa mai mast goli chalate hain and jaise hi woh trigger dabeyega bhaag ke seene mai ek goli khate hain and udd jaate hain". At second thought that seems like fun. You get to fire shots in the air and then fly on a rope. Unless ofcourse Sunny paaji is the hero. If that happens they have to run or die even if he shouts/screams or even farts.

ok so I think it would be good if someone actually makes an extra bash up a hero/superhero and then rubs it in by saying saala hero hai to kya kuch bhi karega and then crack a dialogue with punch like ghode pe sawari karte karte tatuon pe chadhna bhool gaye baabumoshai? ok so that was a bad one, but I had to get it out of my system.

Shrill to kill

A & B were having a very intense technical discussion on how to solve some major problem in their Windows project. Then this conversation followed :
A : Wait a min. I heard this song "High and dry" on radio after a long time and it has been playing in my head since.
B: So???wtf man
A: Its by Radiohead
B(expression of a tubelight and it glows finally): oooooo Eureka dood..Thats y the band called themselves Radiohead (followed by a Eureka Hi-fi all around)
A: Now that we have solved the bigger problem, we know that the solution to this stupid problem in Windows will occur to us similarly and so lets head home
B: Absolutely.
So, really this song was playing in my head and I just wanted to sing those high pitch lines (Higggggggh, dryyyyyy ones), but couldn't do that in office. Was weared down by the morose day and headed to the gym after work. Pumped some iron, adrenaline was produced in loads today and I was like totally high and excited. Came back home and the first thing I wanted to do was sing this song. My headphones are awesome, gave me what I needed and as I sang those high pitch lines loudly in my coarse voice, spears and arrows literally rained on my roomies. But I am happy, my soul is having an ice-cream. Gave a beautiful funda to Uru about how future is bright for us and gloomy for the chixx. The adrenaline is still there and thats why I am writing this now. If this seems like forced humor to you, welcome to my world. Was watching Kismat connection (only completed the 1st half)and trying to laugh but none came out.

So quiet no matter how loud

When you are well and one of the healthiest people around, world is your joystick. Move it around and the game of life rolls happily. But then you are asleep one fine day and something feels weird. The sun is shining down your face and wants to burn you alive. You shout out, Aarghh, shsdwd what the fudge, turn around, pull the blanket on your face and go back to the happy land. A guy wearing a black coat and a fiendish smile appears from nowhere and whispers in your right ear, "Dude, I know that you are happy and riding the Batmobile in your fucking dream, but isn't it the payday. I hope you have the money or I am gonna have to cut your balls off." You wake up startled, hoping to save your balls with a witty dialogue. But alas, the man in black with no face but a smile is gone. You feel relieved and disappointed at the same time. Relieved that you are safe but disappointed coz it was just a stupid dream and you don't have the chance to make that ingenious exchange that you had thought of. And you are back in the stupid real world.

Now I start narrating for myself, rather than allowing the stupid melodramatic loser paint a story around my normal life. So, I wake up and look at my mobile phone cum watch and my eyes pop out. Its freakin 12 PM and its a Wednesday. I should have been at work. I start thinking why the alarm didn't go off at 8 AM and right at that moment it starts buzzing. It was in snooze mode, going off every 15 minutes for a short time. I was confused but decided to ignore it and rush off to work. All along the way, I felt that things were hushed up a little. I could feel a strange kind of silence around me. A chic on bike almost hit me and then stared at me as if it was my fault. I shouted out, "You should have called". She looked back, fired a "Are you Drunk" look and went ahead. All the people around me also started staring. I thought they misunderstood me and tried to clarify by saying that "No, no I am not obsessed with her or anything. I was saying that she should have called, coming on your left so that I could have moved away." Anyway strange things continued to happen and I was feeling as if my brain was working way slower than usual and there was something heavy kept on the left side of my face.


OK enough with the mystery. I was having something which I like to call the "Near Deaf Experience". I had almost gone deaf in my left ear. The biggest advantage of this was that whenever my manager came to me, I would turn my left side towards him so that I don't have to listen to anything he says. Obviously, it would have worked like a charm if I had a nagging girlfriend and wanted to shunt out her boring blabber. But, when you are actually looking to meet new people (read chics), then trust me this situation is not very good and in addition, you are so conscious of the lack of hearing that you don't focus on other things and so keep on screwing things. You try to read their lips and people think that you wanna kiss them. I am thankful that I wasn't slapped. Anyhoo, after about 3 weeks, I thought that I had had enough and went to see a doctor anticipating the worse. But all i can say is, She came, she saw and she conquered. Yeah she was hawt and all, but I am talking about my medical problem here. It was a very stupid hardening of wax problem and she quickly cleared it. I started hearing all the voices in my head again and tried to make small talk with the doc by saying, "If its bad, then why the hell do they sell q-tips" and she was like "Dont be such a baby, want a candy?". She didn't say that actually but could have.

So, it was over and now I can hear more than I wanted to. Would be so nice to have filtering auditory senses. Seems lame huh? Yeah thought so. But then, if you have read till this point, you are lame :)

Vamos

So, after an epic battle Rafa finally accomplished what was expected of him. While IMO thats the blatant truth, it in no way underscores the enormity of his achievement, as might seem from the statement. Yes, he was expected to win, but then people are worn down by the burden of expectation and people thought that Roger would fight a lil and then yield as he normally does against Nadal. But this was Federer who was hungry to regain his lost ground and to win against an opponent of that quality must have been a very tough act even for the toughest man to wield a tennis racket. For the uninitiated, I am referring to the victory of Rafael Nadal at the All-England club for his first grand slam title on a surface other than clay.

I am a big Roger Federer fan, so I was obviously very upset when he suffered such a hard loss on his favourite surface and was denied a unique place in the record books (it looks unlikely that he would go on to win 6 in a row from here on). But anyone who saw the match couldn't help but say Vamos for Rafa. The dude has come such a long way from his early days as a powerful clay courter. There is a marked improvement in every facet of his game (except for his athleticism...he cant do more than that). But, I have always felt that the key to his success is his phenomenal mental strength. He plays one point at a time and never ever buckles under pressure (4th set tie-breaker yesterday was an anomaly). Thats so hard to do when you are facing break points. Especially in his matches against Federer, while Federer tries to do something extra and messes up when holding break points or gives it away (mostly) meekly when facing a couple of break points, Nadal always seems calm and does well at such crucial junctures.

It also doesn't hurt if you are insanely athletic and can chase down ball after ball from seemingly unrecoverable positions and then turn them into winners. What could have Roger done against this wall of steel. Well what he was able to do was almost enough and thats a tribute to the skill of this man. If he could have cut down on his errors a little bit, its possible that he might have won (not necessarily, just a possibility). It was his chance to get back on all the people who have repeatedly taken swipes at his level of play in the recent few months. I don't think that his level of play has gone down, its just that Rafa is much better than he was some time back and currently he is probably the best player on tour. But the modest guy that he is, Rafa credits Federer with the "best player in history" title even after defeating him so many times and never ever says that he is better than him (Djokovic has got to learn somethin from Rafa). I think even Federer is not that modest. He never ever says that Nadal is better than him, even on clay and expects himself to defeat him on any surface (dude u gotta be kidding me....its almost impossible to beat Nadal on clay).

One more thing which I wanted to add about the "match of a generation" is that although the rain delays were a source of frustration for all the people, I think it was because of the delays that both the players remained physically fresh and could play their best even in the fifth set. I can't imagine them playing the way they did if it was a continuous match (especially Roger). Anyhoo, bahut ho gaya match ka pulao...bas mentos khao aur dimaag ki bati jalao..

ps: check out Jaane tu ya jaane naa...Ekdam mast movie hai...

The Revival

This blog seems to be dying and I have been feelin low lately, but underdogs have to get up nd slam the heavyweights and thats how nature takes its course, so I decided to pen down somethin even if its absolutely ridiculous (when is it not??)

So, today I was feeling absolutely low and I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me. This does happen to me a lot of times and somehow for no reason I get depressed. Maybe its the lack of lady love in my life or the excess of academic bonanza around me which drives me crazy, somehow for no apparent reason I go down and nothing seems to have any purpose. Then alchohol gives me perspective and so I am returning to Sunny and so probably Sunny will represent me more than he ever does.

Sunny was surprisingly laying low even though he had done things and evidenced situations which demanded a rewrite of the boring village history. There was a certain nerdiness in the air which drove him mad. People all around him had suddenly delved into books and some weird creatures they called kampooter....They were always staring at it as if it would come alive anytime and eat their solemn paapads. They were living a life of terror and had no time to share his idiosyncracies. He tried to tell them that a great sage had once preached that "Jeene ke hain chaar din, baaki hain bekaar din" but somehow nobody listened and dismissed it as if it was Salman Khan starrer bandhan with Jackie yelling out bidu apun ka salaam..apun ko bas chai bidi de aur apun hai gulaam.

Sunny thought that he would be so happy to return to the familiar grounds. He could indulge people in frivolous banter, have fun with no worries whatsoever and when time came (Dussehra ka akhada) show his might, but he was wrong. The village seemed as alien as the riches of a foreign land. He could no longer cheat people into buying him a pink colored towel or a brand new razor. They all wanted to revolutionize mankind by reading books and publishing incremental papers. This vogue was infact brought about by Lalchiram who published a paper slamming all the developed countries for making satellites since the world was flat (as stated by Friedman) and demanded millions of dollars in compensation from their governments.

All this geeky talk disturbed Sunny. If he would have known that his village would turn this way, he would have happily sung Superman and Lady (http://youtube.com/watch?v=7-9ORkqqEJQ)
with vishkanya Tara and danced his way into immortality. Alas, it was not to be. In order to koohl down he decided to play the dehati version of tennis, but only Shamshera played the game with Duggi. Also, during his adventures Sunny had watched this amazing movie called "Taare Zameen Par" and had realized that he had motor impairment, which effected his reflexes. So,
it was extremely foolish to challenge Shamshera, but then life becomes so morose if you leave out foolish acts and so Sunny sold his farmland to buy a racket and challenged Shamshera.

Next time lets see if the story tries to have a touch of reality or flies off again to fantasy island. Till then lets remember Love Machine Shudhir who brought the real mean villian to the Indian screen without being tacky (prade sirf tu hi samajh sakta hai ye )

Chapter 5: How quick is the sand?

Recap : Last week we saw that Sunny saved his friends from the tiger by performing the greatest ever Nag Dance. His vocal presence was too enchanting to be resisted by Tara who went and smooched him which almost killed Sunny and now the story continues.

It started with utmost bliss and probably the end feeling was the same. But, it was sandwiched between pain which can only be experienced in the wildest of nightmares. The poison maimed and mutilated his mind and body and he only wished that the angel of death be his guest and that too asap. But, as it always happened something came in the way (gawd cant he just die and I wont have to write this stupid story again). Water started flowing in his system and magically offset the effect of poison, but it wasnt just water inside him, it was all over him as if he was being flooded. He opened his eyes and was startled to see a huge collection of people around him (most of em crying and a few cheering). His hands were tied down and he saw Shamshera coming in to the picture saying "Nanga nahayega kya Nichode gaa kya" and splashing some more water on him.

This was unbelievable. Were all his adventures just a figment of his imagination? He didnt think so. It seemed too real to be a dream. Still he had to deal with his present in order to figure out what had transpired. What he saw ahead took his breath away. It was the dreaded scene of an emaciated old man (dmk of the past) on a BSA SLR classic bicycle charging towards him(you might think what the freck). It was the fastest killer machine in the village, but wait speed was never the point. Actually, the man was carrying a bag of Ambuja cement with an X inscribed in red ink and that literally spelled doom. This killer combo had crushed to pieces whole armies of trucks and ants, so was used for the harshest punishments meted out by the Panchayat these days.

Sunny somehow knew that he was in possession of supernatural powers. To test his belief, he hit the ground hard and to his amazement, saw a shiver run through the ground and he was kinda hoping that it would blow away the impending danger. But, the killer stood firm. After all, Ambuja Cement Mazbooti ka Doosra Naam hai. He now knew that his time was up and since he had this thought, just as a last wish he asked what was the time. Since it was a last wish, everybody looked at their watch, including the man on the killer bike and this caused the powerful bag to slide down the bike into the adjacent pool of sand. But wait, it was no ordinary sand, it was quicksand and the more the weight, the faster the sand slides and since the Cement had the weight of belief it sunk faster than the rock of love in an ocean.

So, Sunny lives to kill (aunties) again and thats it for this week. I surely will b byack with some more stuff. Till then, say Saa say Ree and then say Whos ur Daddy SaaRee? (Lame!!)

Musings - Kisse pyaar karoon

Lets leave Sunny alone for some time. I am sure he is pissed with me for making him do all kinds of crazy things, so I will let him have a breather before we start screwing with his life again. Now, I generally had some random thoughts, so I thought lets pen it down. Now, when I say random thoughts please dont start thinking about fine nuances of life and deep abstract thoughts. Let me tell you that I am a very superficial guy. I dont make keen observations, dont really like detailed conversations on how things work and how nature is mysteriously awesome. I like booze, gossip, and frivoulous merrymaking. So, now that you know how hollow I am (or atleast I am pretending to be), we are on the same page and so I can talk about a meaningless personal angle I have with the TV series I am watching lately.

In most of the TV series I am watching these days, I tend to fall for one female character and I absolutely get in love with her till that series lasts and after that its all gone. A new series comes along and you know the pattern. Now, I have watched so many series till now, but I dont seem to remember my crushes (the ones from TV) for long. So, I decided that I will atleast put down the ones which are recent so that when I am old (and the world has survived the Nucleur Holocaust and dinosaurs dont come back), I can look back and see how stupid I was.

So, of the present crushes...starting with Scrubs, Dr. Elliot Reid is sweet (who am I kidding, she is actually pretty irritating sometimes, but man she is hawt and I dont really know why I love her). In Prison Break, I fell for Dr. Sarah Tancredi..now she was actually sweet, beautiful, intelligent and what not. An awesome character and I was so pissed when the directors (or whoever calls the shots) decided to kill her in the 3rd season. My most recent fall has been for Robin Scherbatsky, from How I met your mother (its the name of a series..some people thought that I was actually gettin on to a Yo Mama joke). Again some endearing traits there, but I wont go into the details for the sake of people who might accidently hit this page.

Thats it for now. Its all so random and it obviously wont make sense to a lot of people, but still remember that I am a hollow guy and the world badly needs hollow people in order to float through space, so try not to kill me.

Chapter 4: The Kiss of Death

Recap : Last week we saw that Sunny suddenly found himself in a Jungle and befriended a herd of Buffaloes. To save his friends, he challenged the tiger preying on them to a duel of Pulli Dance to which the tiger responded energetically and now the story continues :

Dhariwal had mesmerized the jungle junta with his performance. It was a memorable item number and it looked as if the crowd had fallen into a spell. Every damn creature was cheering, except for the buffaloes, who knew that only something special from Sunny could save them. Sunny remembered his Papa (he was probably getting drunk in vegas) and stepped into the arena. He planted his feet and then blurted out something, upon which snakes from all corners of the forest came running. The spectacle that followed was unprecedented. Sunny Paaji in the company of snakes then performed the best ever Naag Dance the wild world had ever witnessed. Everybody started dancing to the tune of "Mai teri Dushman, Dushman tu Mera... Mai Nagin tu Shera (tiger)" and even Sridevi would have felt embarrassed watching this.

Well the big question in your minds must be who will judge this freakinly close contest. The animals were clever, they knew that in case the duel could not be decided by a simple shout of 'Aye', they needed to have a judging panel and so they had called upon Vishkanya 'Tara' (from the famous series Chandrakanta, in which Chandrakanta hardly ever showed up) and Saroj Khan (dikhawe pe mat jao...apni akal lagao..so imagine an extremely hawt female here) who was an experienced judge (Nach Baliye) to call the shots. But this ploy clearly backfired as the panel was split on verdict. While, Saroj Khan threw coins and showed her appreciation for Dhariwal by whistling away, Tara definitely enjoyed the Naag dance as she could relate more to it. But the situation was not all that grim coz the animals anticipated a CAT fight and were all looking straight at the judges with their tongues hanging out.

While the cat fight raged on, the buffaloes asked Sunny about the Naag Dance. Instead of being thankful for giving it his best shot, they were mad at him for not doing their traditional Mooh Mooh dance and were jealous of the snakes. Sunny then told them that even he didnt know what happened, suddenly the snakes came from nowhere and since he was afriad of them, he just moved his body to shoo them away and scare them. At that very instant, the tiger complained that Sunny performed a Naag dance whereas he had challenged him to a Pulli dance, so technically he had lost. Listening to this argument, the buffaloes started shivering but then Sunny rose and with his bloodshot eyes, shouted out, "Kya ek rule tod dega to Sunny sher se haar jayega, kya saamp jaanwar nahi hote aur bhains insaan nahi hote" (Hinglish : break the rules, Sunny not loose, no?? snake no animal ? buffalo no human..waat do u say man?) The entire wild life just stood speechless. The thunderous burst left no doubt about who the winner was. The tiger ran away with tears all over its face and it was a joyous moment for buffaloes. Tara was so impressed with Sunny that she couldnt hold herself and ran towards Sunny, grabbed his hair and gave him the kiss of his life. It was all good and everybody was cheering (and making vulgar comments), but suddenly Sunny`s face started turning pale as if life was being sucked out of him and a Buffalo shouted out, "Arey ye to Vishkanya hai"

Thats all I could come up with this week. But as you may have guessed by now, this story would not end so quickly. After all I am from the land of Balaji Telefilms, so stay tuned so that I can bring in more hot babes (and ofcourse CAT fights...the one this time was pretty lame though) to keep the fire glowing within :)

Chapter 3: Eye of the Tiger

Recap : Last week we saw that Sunny was coming into grips with his existence in Seattle, when he saw a group of pilgrims and picked up a fight with glory (oh didnt I tell u guys, it was the name of that bouncer) and amidst all this chaos, was shot by a junkie. Now the story continues :

He slowly faded into oblivion, his eyes shut out and then there was peace for some time, but then his mind started racing for the first time in his life and he thought that he was finally in heaven as he caught a glimpse of the ever so beautiful, the teary eyed(irritating for others) Madamji. The moment he saw her, he almost became numb with some kind of strange happiness. It was indescribable, the pleasure he felt. What was this feeling? It was definitely not possible for him to fall in love given his stone cold nature. A part of him wanted to get out of this trance, go back and bash Shamshera, glory, Balwantrai and all other KUTTE but yet he was helpless. He consoled himself thinking that no power is strong enough to break out of thin yet indestructible strands which bind the living beings in love or some like that.

While he was bustling with all these philosophical thoughts, he suddenly felt that his lips became moist as if madaji was kissing him. But this was inconceivable since Kudis have to first fall on the man's(Sunny's) feet, say sasriyakal before jumping onto his lips. But what the hell, a kiss is a kiss so he enjoyed it, only to be shell-shocked when he opened his eyes. It was a horse licking his face and the setting had again changed. It was not a well-lit happening city anymore, it was dark and scary. The horse neighed and ran away into the wild. There was a disturbing feel in the air. He could now hear all kinds of animal noises and other strange sounds. What was this? Where were all the people? He was amidst a fight for justice as far as he could remember.

When you are in the wild, you dont get a chance to think about random things. There is only one dominant thought which you are suppposed to be preoccupied with and that is survival and Sunny quickly realized it. A herd of buffalos ran beside him and he started running with them. There was a natural bonding between them (yeah right, the buffalos will have to get smart to carry him along). He looked into their eyes and knew that they were being hunted. He turned back and saw a tiger sprinting behind him. He couldnt believe his eyes. He shouted out Freck Freck double freck and then came to a standstill. Confused and dazed, the entire bunch of animals in the frame froze.

Sunny then did something which was totally incomprehensible. He challenged the tiger to beat him in a duel of Pulli dance (tiger dance made so popular by Gulty and dmk). He didnt know how he communicated this. He just hissed out something and all the animals just understood. So, its easy to understand that he was elated coz now he knew not just Hindi and Punjabi but also Jungli. He did his old thing (stroking his moustache and patting his thigs) and then tried to focus. He had recently seen Step up 2 the streets (Punjabi version: Kuddi Maar te sadkaan wich), so if he could just do whatever he remembered then he would definitely beat the champ at his own game. But he could remember only the cute chic and her unabashedly shown attractive midsection. The odds were stacked heavily against him as the tiger lunged into the ring and the animal music hit the jungle floor driving them mad. It was a very fancy piece put on by the tiger (called dharilal) and Sunny needed something special to save his buffalo mates. He came forward and planted his feet hard on the ground............

Obviously what you expect didnt happen, but lets just wait so that I can think about what actually happened. To my friends for whom there was not much action this time, I promise there will be lots next time, I just wanted to talk about crazy boring stuff to get more audience :)

Chapter 2 :The Brave must die

Recap : We saw last week that Sunny finds himself in unknown territory and is reminded of the events of the day which involved him going through a highly entertaining song and dance sequence, followed by his never ending walk towards the tree of justice where the Panchayat would decide his fate in the matter of "smacked my bitch up" raised by Shamshera. Now the story continues :

"Bro, can you lend me a dollar..I m very hungry nd can use a hamburger to water the bitch..You know what I mean?? These were the words which broke Sunny`s thoughts. He saw that a dude was standing in front of him and talking in what was gibberish to him. Sunny could speak only in Punjabi/Hindi. He was sent to a nice school as a kid where he should have learned English, but he declared that English was a foreign language and since they didnt eat Indian pappad in the west, he would also not learn their language (as strange as it might sound to you, the entire school concurred with Sunny. After all, the school of sardars was too intelligent to reject such an intuitive statement). He only knew 3 words of English - F*** (because it can be used in any sentence), Please and swarry. So, he tried to communicate by saying, F*** mainu pareshaan naa kar please. The dude read between the statement (thought he was saying fuck me please) and ran away like he had caught a fire in his crotch. Sunny was pleased with his effective communication and stroked his moustache and patted his thighs in a sense of victory.

It was a chilly night and Sunny realized that he needed to go to a warm place as the hair on his arms were standing up and that spelt bad omen. He saw that a number of people were queued up at a place (club with a dance floor) a few meters away. He thought that it must be a temple and joined the queue. He was very hungry by now and praised the lord for saving him as he could get both food and a warm shelter in the temple. As he approached the entrance, he saw that there were a couple of burly guys guarding the entrance and people were showing them something, in reaction to which the hulks were stamping the pilgrims hands (again the eye of the dude, so used pilgrims there...they are actually a bunch of party freaks). Sunny was appalled at this sight and imagined some graphic sights of cruel beasts torturing innocent country people by blowing out hot fumes. He decided at once that it was time to show the power of Pappad and end injustice. As his turn came, the bouncer asked for his ID, to which Sunny replied F*** teri to -expletives in Hindi/Punjabi-- swarry (he just needed to use an English word at the start and the end). The man was confused, he didnt know whether Sunny was saying fuck off or sorry..Either way, he couldnt allow him without the id and so he asked for his id again. This time Sunny decided that he had had enough and Laaton ke bhoot baaton se nahi maante and so he threw a punch at the bouncer. This led to a fearsome battle between the 2 hefty doods.

As the battle raged (everybody loves kungfu fightin was being played in the disc), suddenly the song changed to 'Youth of the Nation' and one of the depressed junkies in the crowd got carried away and started shooting bullets. Sunny caught a tool in the chest during the shootout and so his eyes turned pale. Still he managed to throw his ongoing punch and knock out the bouncer before crashing on the ground. People say that your whole life flashes before you in those last few seconds and so Sunny was waiting for his memory to do that trick but it eluded him and his mind was totally blank (blank in the sense of memories..His brain was anyway hollow since his birth). People were gathered around the body when something strange happened :O

I guess thats enough for this week, and as that creep in crime report says, Chain se sona hai to jaaag jao and intezaar karo agle hafte tak coz it aint over until its over. I guess I can write a tv series on this story :)

ps: Dont try to look up "water the bitch" in any kinda urban dictionary or whatever. I just threw up an arbit phrase to mean Quench Hunger. I guessed it would make me a koohl brother :)

Is it time already??

So, I`ve lied and that makes me a sinner, but then isnt grey what makes life so beautiful. I am glad that atleast people, especially Indians are so used to false claims (thanks to the in your face politics) that my whole crappy back in black assertion didnt meet any audience. But I wont take the blame for that, its alcohol which should be subjected to criticism. I think I am using but too often, so as Sunny pajji said in a memorable dialogue which sends shivers down the spine of any listener - NO IF NO BUTT sirf JAT...isliye mai kuch likhne ki koshish karta hoon and here it goes>>>

Long long time ago not so long ago (coutesy uru) there was this Jat dude called Sunny, strutting the streets of Downtown Seattle. He looked lost and confused, but neverthless confident. He was staring at all the people around him as if he was amidst the creatures belonging to a zoo ( I am sure the other people felt the same abt him but then I am the eye of the dude here). Initially, the sight of a hot chic made his heart go faster than a killer bullet , but then there were so many of them that his heart quit this freakshow and settled down eventually. He was having a hardtime digesting the fact that the exterior of his village had become what was in sight.

The morning had started in the usual manner with him drinking Lassi and practicing with frogs so that he can croak at the top of his voice when the opportune moment (which is omnipresent) shows up. Then came the usual song and dance sequence where he slammed his feet on the ground, raised his hand and shouted "whos your daddy" to the village folks, to which all replied dharam paaji in unison. Though Sunny was expecting his name, the chant of his fathers name left him in tears and being overtly sentimental he showered the people with gifts (his head bands, tshirts soiled in blood etc) and walked towards the Panchayat. Today was no ordinary day, he was in dispute with the village goon Shamshera over the critical issue of "smack my bitch up" and Panchayat was meeting today to decide the case. Shamshera was accusing Sunny of manhandling his beloved bitch Duggy (Shamshera`s version of Doggy). Now the catch was that Shamshera called both his girlfiriend and his female dog(bitch) as Duggi and nobody knew which Duggy he was referring to. As the Panchayat meeting place approached, Sunny walked in slow motion (partially because he wanted to forever delay this stupid meeting and partially because he wanted to look like a hero) and soon it was noon. As the clock struck 12, the Panchayat members quickly dispersed for a long lunch break and when they were bored with their speculation on what the actual case was about, they returned by which time Sunny had also almost reached the tree of Justice.

okay, now I have to say is it time to sleep?? I would say yes...Again I will ask myself...Really, is it time already?? I would reaffirm and so you will have to wait for the next time to know what happens in the Panchayat meet.. How does Sunny land in Seattle when he is clearly in a small village of Punjab that very morning :) So, till then...stay tuned and peace out...

Yo I am byack

I havent written anything for a really long time and I think I miss my blogs :) so here I am back in black and as black as ever. My life has taken a U turn and I am back in school and since grad students are maggu (by induction), I am no different. How can I disregard the strong law of large numbers (what a geek!!). Anyway loads of things happened in the past year (mostly fun things), but I dont feel like revisiting them or I will break down and cry like a sissy. So, I will probably try to be active and do stuff which can be presented in a written form just for the sake of posting here :) and if research (yeah I am fooling you) takes a toll on me then I would say Bakhuda Lahoo ka Rang lal hota hai and fir kahani khoon and aansuwon ki zabani likhi jayegi.