Chapter 2 :The Brave must die

Recap : We saw last week that Sunny finds himself in unknown territory and is reminded of the events of the day which involved him going through a highly entertaining song and dance sequence, followed by his never ending walk towards the tree of justice where the Panchayat would decide his fate in the matter of "smacked my bitch up" raised by Shamshera. Now the story continues :

"Bro, can you lend me a dollar..I m very hungry nd can use a hamburger to water the bitch..You know what I mean?? These were the words which broke Sunny`s thoughts. He saw that a dude was standing in front of him and talking in what was gibberish to him. Sunny could speak only in Punjabi/Hindi. He was sent to a nice school as a kid where he should have learned English, but he declared that English was a foreign language and since they didnt eat Indian pappad in the west, he would also not learn their language (as strange as it might sound to you, the entire school concurred with Sunny. After all, the school of sardars was too intelligent to reject such an intuitive statement). He only knew 3 words of English - F*** (because it can be used in any sentence), Please and swarry. So, he tried to communicate by saying, F*** mainu pareshaan naa kar please. The dude read between the statement (thought he was saying fuck me please) and ran away like he had caught a fire in his crotch. Sunny was pleased with his effective communication and stroked his moustache and patted his thighs in a sense of victory.

It was a chilly night and Sunny realized that he needed to go to a warm place as the hair on his arms were standing up and that spelt bad omen. He saw that a number of people were queued up at a place (club with a dance floor) a few meters away. He thought that it must be a temple and joined the queue. He was very hungry by now and praised the lord for saving him as he could get both food and a warm shelter in the temple. As he approached the entrance, he saw that there were a couple of burly guys guarding the entrance and people were showing them something, in reaction to which the hulks were stamping the pilgrims hands (again the eye of the dude, so used pilgrims there...they are actually a bunch of party freaks). Sunny was appalled at this sight and imagined some graphic sights of cruel beasts torturing innocent country people by blowing out hot fumes. He decided at once that it was time to show the power of Pappad and end injustice. As his turn came, the bouncer asked for his ID, to which Sunny replied F*** teri to -expletives in Hindi/Punjabi-- swarry (he just needed to use an English word at the start and the end). The man was confused, he didnt know whether Sunny was saying fuck off or sorry..Either way, he couldnt allow him without the id and so he asked for his id again. This time Sunny decided that he had had enough and Laaton ke bhoot baaton se nahi maante and so he threw a punch at the bouncer. This led to a fearsome battle between the 2 hefty doods.

As the battle raged (everybody loves kungfu fightin was being played in the disc), suddenly the song changed to 'Youth of the Nation' and one of the depressed junkies in the crowd got carried away and started shooting bullets. Sunny caught a tool in the chest during the shootout and so his eyes turned pale. Still he managed to throw his ongoing punch and knock out the bouncer before crashing on the ground. People say that your whole life flashes before you in those last few seconds and so Sunny was waiting for his memory to do that trick but it eluded him and his mind was totally blank (blank in the sense of memories..His brain was anyway hollow since his birth). People were gathered around the body when something strange happened :O

I guess thats enough for this week, and as that creep in crime report says, Chain se sona hai to jaaag jao and intezaar karo agle hafte tak coz it aint over until its over. I guess I can write a tv series on this story :)

ps: Dont try to look up "water the bitch" in any kinda urban dictionary or whatever. I just threw up an arbit phrase to mean Quench Hunger. I guessed it would make me a koohl brother :)