So quiet no matter how loud

When you are well and one of the healthiest people around, world is your joystick. Move it around and the game of life rolls happily. But then you are asleep one fine day and something feels weird. The sun is shining down your face and wants to burn you alive. You shout out, Aarghh, shsdwd what the fudge, turn around, pull the blanket on your face and go back to the happy land. A guy wearing a black coat and a fiendish smile appears from nowhere and whispers in your right ear, "Dude, I know that you are happy and riding the Batmobile in your fucking dream, but isn't it the payday. I hope you have the money or I am gonna have to cut your balls off." You wake up startled, hoping to save your balls with a witty dialogue. But alas, the man in black with no face but a smile is gone. You feel relieved and disappointed at the same time. Relieved that you are safe but disappointed coz it was just a stupid dream and you don't have the chance to make that ingenious exchange that you had thought of. And you are back in the stupid real world.

Now I start narrating for myself, rather than allowing the stupid melodramatic loser paint a story around my normal life. So, I wake up and look at my mobile phone cum watch and my eyes pop out. Its freakin 12 PM and its a Wednesday. I should have been at work. I start thinking why the alarm didn't go off at 8 AM and right at that moment it starts buzzing. It was in snooze mode, going off every 15 minutes for a short time. I was confused but decided to ignore it and rush off to work. All along the way, I felt that things were hushed up a little. I could feel a strange kind of silence around me. A chic on bike almost hit me and then stared at me as if it was my fault. I shouted out, "You should have called". She looked back, fired a "Are you Drunk" look and went ahead. All the people around me also started staring. I thought they misunderstood me and tried to clarify by saying that "No, no I am not obsessed with her or anything. I was saying that she should have called, coming on your left so that I could have moved away." Anyway strange things continued to happen and I was feeling as if my brain was working way slower than usual and there was something heavy kept on the left side of my face.


OK enough with the mystery. I was having something which I like to call the "Near Deaf Experience". I had almost gone deaf in my left ear. The biggest advantage of this was that whenever my manager came to me, I would turn my left side towards him so that I don't have to listen to anything he says. Obviously, it would have worked like a charm if I had a nagging girlfriend and wanted to shunt out her boring blabber. But, when you are actually looking to meet new people (read chics), then trust me this situation is not very good and in addition, you are so conscious of the lack of hearing that you don't focus on other things and so keep on screwing things. You try to read their lips and people think that you wanna kiss them. I am thankful that I wasn't slapped. Anyhoo, after about 3 weeks, I thought that I had had enough and went to see a doctor anticipating the worse. But all i can say is, She came, she saw and she conquered. Yeah she was hawt and all, but I am talking about my medical problem here. It was a very stupid hardening of wax problem and she quickly cleared it. I started hearing all the voices in my head again and tried to make small talk with the doc by saying, "If its bad, then why the hell do they sell q-tips" and she was like "Dont be such a baby, want a candy?". She didn't say that actually but could have.

So, it was over and now I can hear more than I wanted to. Would be so nice to have filtering auditory senses. Seems lame huh? Yeah thought so. But then, if you have read till this point, you are lame :)