Chapter 3 - Swim or Die

It was a close call last time and AJ was furious that his life was such a stupid script. Boredom had brought him to India, but the adventure was a bit too much to handle. He would probably look back and cherish the near death experience when he was old and playing saamp-seedi (the besht board game ever) with his friends on his porch, but for now he needed to break a leg and have some (wheat) beer. So, he took out his iPhone and started looking for clubs around him. The screen read "Really?" with 2 tap-on boxes "Hell Yeah" and " Gotcha, I am so funny". AJ was irritated and tapped the first box. He was greeted with a massive virtual boxing punch of max intensity and the screen read "Dobara mat poochna!". He was about to smash the iPhone on ground, when he looked around and had an "Aha" moment. He had teleported into another small village (Rampur again). No wonder, his phone couldn't find a club around and so was playing with him. But, he really needed to have a good time and suddenly Sunny Paaji's voice started playing in his head "Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge 3 yaar. Aap, mai aur bagpiper club soda". So, off he went to Sunny paaji's house.

The paaji mansion was huge with 40 feet cutouts of suny paaji ravaging the goons with his handpump and romancing the chics in his truck. There was a loud-speaker lying on the couch and the genius AJ was, he immidiately understood the protocol. He picked it up and started announcing, "Baa mulayaza hosiyaar, jalaludin fikratuh blah blah blah, sher-e-sultanat blah AJ haazir ho rahe hain". Sunny paaji arrived to receive his guest with a garland in one hand and a scotch in another. AJ used to write to Sunny Paaji and having a nobel laureate as a fan made Paaji extremely happy. Paaji also understood why this man was called a genius. He had inferred the protocol of the house just by looking at the loud-speaker. "waah waah" was on his mind. After initial pleasantries, the 3 of them sat down so that "rang jam sakey". AJ was very tired and so he was high in no time and he started saying/blabbering, "Paaji bas ek regret reh gaya hai, saali buoyancy ke baare mai kitaab padh daale, lekin swimming nahi seekh paaya..ha-he.he-he."

Paaji was a very sentimental man. Unse kisika dard nahi dekha jaata tha. So, he just grabbed Aj's collar and said, "Jo dar gaya, samjho mar gaya" and threw him in a pond near his mansion (Yeah not pool, pond jahan sab gulty hero/heroines go and cry). The pond had crocs, aligators etc and AJ was freaked out of his drunk mind. Why would Paaji try to kill him. Faced with death, all the buoyancy lessons started to work in practice. The scotch was also lending a hand. He started swimming slowly, but he was still scared. Surprisingly, the alligators were slower than him. He somehow came back to the land and saw paaji smiling. He was like wtf man, I could have died there. Paaji said, "tumhare darr ko nikalne ka aur koi tareeka nahi tha. Ye alligators to mere pets hain, ye sirf kutton (bad guys) ko khate hain". Ye sunke, AJ started shedding "khushi ke aansoo" and then both the guys broke into an awesome bhangra number with the bg music playing 'Ye dosti hum nahi chodenge"